Journey to the Homeland

Took a lil' vaca to my native land last week. A story or two will follow but here's a few highlights.

The reason why I held my poo from LAX through DEN to OMA. Cleanest. Facilities. Ever.

Even graffiti in Nebraska is good natured though I don't think fighting racism with homophobic barbs is the best way to go.

Skyfari!

If I were the king of the jungle and confined to a glass cage, I'd tea bag the world too.

The most bad ass shark in all of Nebraska.



Jellyfish.

Leave it to the greatest bar in the world to still have been accepting checks in 2009.

Penis of the Plains, Cock of the Countryside, Hard-on of the Heartland, Wanker of the West, Meat of the Mid-West, Schlong of the City, Dick of Downtown, Phallus of the Farmland, The Length of Lincoln, The Prick of the Prairie, The Gear of God's Country.

Tom Osborne is not a piggy back ride dispenser.



Woolly Mammoth!



A bargain at twice the price.



Thunder/hailstorm!

Safe to say I've broken just about everything listed in the Conestoga Mall Code of Conduct.

I knew there was a good reason I was holding back on cheeseburger consumption.

All this for six bucks. Can you say cheaper than Mexico?



Reminiscing about two summers of sheer terror.