Let's help this guy find a date!

A few weeks ago, my good buddy Sally was in town and while I was showing him the various sights Los Angeles has to offer, we stumbled across this flier taped to a lamp post.

From what we were able to gather, the LL Cool J looking fellow is goes by the name Chess and could use some help with things. He doesn't exactly specify what things he needs help with but I suppose that gives interested parties a reason to call 323. 761.6481.

Cut to last night.

I'm running some errands at the Beverly Center's orphaned twin the Beverly Connection and come across this flier.

OK, in three week's time Chess has changed his number to 323.540.0962 and has narrowed his focus to exactly what he's looking for- ladies. White, Asian or Latina. Apparently Chess isn't too picky as long as you're not a sister.

That's all fine and dandy, but c'mon Chess. You gotta say more about yourself than I've lived in Los Angeles for 32 years. That just leaves the reader hanging and allows them to jump to their own conclusion which for me was I've lived in Los Angeles for 32 years and am now resorting to trying to find a date with the help of a lamp post.

Sorry Chess but that's just a little too desperate for any of the ladies you're looking for. Not to mention the fact that the ones who might actually be intrigued by your ad are more than likely illiterate.

So here's my advice for your next daring personal ad- don't just tell the ladies you're at least 32-years-old. Throw caution to the wind and let the ladies know you look like LL Cool J cause if you want to be a baller, you gotta be a baller.