We are Motorhead and we play rock 'n roll.

Whoa. Really? It's been this long since I was around these parts? Maybe my dear mother was onto something when she called the other day to make sure I was still alive.

No matter. Got a story for you and it's a pretty decent one.

Last Friday my buddy Scott and I went to see Motorhead play. I've seen them once before and they were nothing short of amazing. In fact they were the first band I've ever seen that forced me to get ear plugs. Without question they're the loudest band I've ever seen.

On top of that, the whole concert experience was one of the strangest nights ever. We got the sweet hook up on backstage passes so what was supposed to be any old Tuesday featured sharing a couch and boozing it up with C.C. DeVille and his groupies, a visit to Motorhead's dressing room and having one of the weirdest conversations of my life with a couple members of the Vagos Motorcycle Club. To this day I swear they were just chatting me up to mark me as the murderee in an initiation ritual but lucky me a chunk of them were nabbed by The Man the very next day. (Hit that link, yo. It's all right there on the wikipedia.)

Motorhead had set the bar pretty high and the second time around didn't disappoint.

Here's a little recap.

Somehow we Forrest Gump'ed our way into VIP passes and were taken by a private elevator to the secret level which was full of the pretty people. The real kicker though were the seats. Second row balcony. Dead on balls center. We're talking serious Statler and Waldorf territory The best part was watching the strippers who's poached our seats plead with the usher but he wasn't havin' it and without mercy he banished them to the back with the rest of the riff raff.

There were no Vagos in sight but I did end up being on the receiving end of a one sided conversation when a young kid noticed my shirt (gotta look tough for Motorhead ya know)and proceeded to tell me a story about his experiences in Iraq.

YOUNG KID

Hey man, your shirt's badass.

ME

Thanks.

YOUNG KID
That dude's rockin' an M-60 but it's just like the 240 I had in Iraq.

ME

You were in Iraq?

YOUNG KID
I wasn't just in Iraq. I was deep into the shit. You know how things were tough in Baghdad? Well shit was a hundred times worse in Fallujah. And you know what's fucked up? I wasn't even supposed to be there. I was sent back home for three weeks of leave and I wasn't back home but for a couple days when I get a call from the Army telling me I'm needed back in Iraq. I was on a flight back there that night. Do you have any idea how bad that sucks? And on top of that they sent me to mother fuckin' Fallujah. Total bullshit. So I get there right and they issue me a 240 and have me post up on the top floor of some bombed out office building. I'm looking out over four city blocks and guess what my rules of engagement were? Kill. Anything. That. Moves. I squeezed off at least 1, 000 rounds that day. Best fucking day of my life. And here we are at Motorhead! Fuckin' A!

ME
Uh, I'm just glad you made it back in one piece. Thank you for serving our country.

YOUNG KID
No, thank you. Man, your support means a lot. You wouldn't believe how many people thought what we were doing was a bunch of shit. Thank you.

That last thank you was punctuated by the longest, most awkward hug of my life. Good times.

Once the show finally started, Motorhead brought the heat. When they took the stage, Lemmy said "We are Motorhead and we play rock 'n roll."

For the next two hours they proceeded to flat out kill it.

#2 is probably the greatest thing ever written on Twitter.

But before they did, there was a surprise opening act in the form of Tenacious D.



They opened with Iron Fist




They closed with Overkill and nearly everyone in the crowd had a strobe light induced seizure.



In case you've lost count Lemmy turns 64 this December.

Paul McCartney, you are a fragile old man.


Added bonus clip- Best. Way. To. Start. A. Video. Ever.